The best (and only) collection of works I’ve done over the past few years. Enjoy!
First, for my current job, as an editor at BroBible dot com, a men’s general interest website.
Hi, My Name Is David and Last Week I Fucked a Bunch of Japanese Sex Toys
An investigation into the weird world of Japanese vaginal mimicry. Basically, I stuck my dick in a lot of plastic sex toys and talked about my life.
Yes, I thought. Why shouldn’t an international brand be handling my need for frequent blowjobs? Too long have I messed around with pesky women and their requirements of first dates and mutual attraction and the very real possibility that they might just not want to give me head, or even if they do, will perform it with such tepid enthusiasm that the only thing running through my head while she’s doing so is the refrain “Why bother?”
http://www.brobible.com/life/article/david-last-week-japanese-sex-toys/
A long look into my life, one shaped and set around alcohol.
Always have one last one before going to bed. Put the bottle back but then rethink it. The drink you have in your hand could be bigger. Add a splash as you think back to the morning, when you thought the hangover you had was because of your final drink the night before. Shrug. You have your reasons.
I Tried Pure Barre and Holy Hell Is Being a Woman Hard
I gave the popular women’s workout craze, Pure Barre, a try and left with nothing but shame and sore muscles.
Hey, are you ready for ab workout number two? I know I’m not, because our instructor had to place a support ball in the small of my back since I couldn’t do the exercise on my own (I was the only one in our class who earned this distinction) (v emasculating). But even with this ball holding me up, it still felt like my abs would collapse upon themselves in a fiery death comparable to an overtaxed star finally going supernova.
It was very painful.
http://www.brobible.com/life/article/tried-pure-barre-being-woman-hard/
I Got High as Hell and Tried Taco Bell’s New Breakfast
When an international megabrand offers you the chance to try a new product, you’d be remiss as a journalist if you didn’t get fucked up beforehand.
8:25 a.m: I try to hit my roommate’s bowl, only to realize it’s clogged beyond the point of functionality. I begin fashioning a gravity bong out of a Smart Water bottle and my A.C. Greebs’ smoking steel. (I swear, I’m not a pothead.)
8:30: “Well, if you are going to take one gravity bong before work, might as well take two.”
8:40: I realize I’ve never been high on the New York City subway before.
8:40: I realize—because of a quirk of my schedule (I work noon-8 p.m.)—I’ve never been on the subway at rush hour before.
8:40: Fuuuuck.
http://www.brobible.com/life/article/high-as-hell-taco-bell-breakfast/
Confessions of an Inveterate Sexter
Wherein I get wayyy too earnest about a habit I may or may not have.
Despite how rude that would be. Because it is rude of me, drunk on the weekends, thinking it’s fine to just text a girl I slept with once four months ago about how ‘I like the way you suck my dick,’ when she’s just out, like, I don’t know, trying to eat oysters with a couple girl friends at a really cool oyster bar.
What is she supposed to do with that newfound knowledge? Tell her friends?
‘Hey, so… this guy… David, you don’t know him, but he likes the way I suck his dick.’
http://www.brobible.com/life/article/confessions-inveterate-sexter/
So those are some blog posts I have written. There’s also this one, where I take an in-depth look at the possibility that maybe the dinosaurs killed themselves with a dinosaur atomic bomb.
Alongside all that, I’ve had work featured in Jezebel, Elle Magazine, The Nerve, and The Date Report.
If you’ve made it this far and still want more, please feel free to contact me at dcovucci@gmail.com or on Twitter at @DavidCovucci.
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